These are the words I was given to use were:
Varian and Josh
Well! Here I am, there's my van, and it's stuck in the mud. It's dark and cold, and my lover man never has his phone on...
"My knight in shining armor! It's your damsel in distress! Come save me from the encroaching cold and darkness. Pluck me from the teeth of disaster! And afterwards, have your wicked way with me!"
"Josh? Where the hell are you?"
"Beset by grave peril. I'm standing beside my mired chariot."
"Damn it, Josh, I warned you that parking lot was going to turn into mud today! You had to park down there?"
"How else was I to load the works of my soul into my chariot?"
"You could have waited for me to come and help you lug your paintings out the front door."
"Perhaps I wanted you to spend your energy on... other pastimes?"
"Josh, when have I not had energy for that? Listen, I've got another hour of faculty meeting to sit through. We're having a coffee break right now, or else you wouldn't have caught me. Can't you wait in the studio?"
"Alas, the keys are in the van."
"Well, get your feet muddy and get them out."
"The keys to the van are in the studio."
"Josh... Hang on. Arnold, I'm sorry, I've got to go. Josh has locked himself out of his studio and his keys are locked in the van. Yeah, I know. No, I don't think I'll be back in time -- he's stuck in the mud, too. No, no, I can pull him out. We'll be fine. I'll see you Monday."
"Knight in shining armor, winged warrior of the sky, you are a gift to my soul!"
"I love you, too, Josh."