Another Healing

Another Healing

Sunday, October 26, 2014


My father died a week ago today.

It's hard to write those words. It's hard to write anything right now.

Without one of the two people who created me alive any longer, I feel like a deep balance within me is lost.

He lived 94 wonderful years with three really awful weeks at the end. I go back over and over it to see if I could have made things different, but at each juncture, I don't see how I could have chosen differently while he was unable to chose for himself any longer.

He was a famous environmentalist and artist and there were hundred of people at his Celebration of Life Ceremony yesterday and they all hugged me and I tried to speak and I cried and a member of the Navy gave me a flag and I don't know how I can go back to school tomorrow as though nothing happened.

I am an only child and my mother is still living, but lost in the fog of Alzheimer's and almost beyond reach.

As I sprinkled his ashes, the water turned to gray smoke and flowed away.

I'm not sure where I am flowing from here.

Yesterday morning's sky

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